05 - About Finding Subjects

Right now, you may have a bit of apprehension about finding subjects to work with. It’s much, much less overhead to ask to practice than it is to set up a full session. Even better if you find someone you feel comfortable switching with.

Finding a Victim Subject

When you’re schmoozing, ask your potential partner about their experiences.

• Are they a subject? Hypnotist?
• They done this before?
• What did they like?
• What were their experiences like?
• What do they even think hypnosis is?
• What are they looking for?

Put brutally, do a gut check and see if they seem crazy or unstable.

It’s okay if they turn you down! You might make a buddy that will hook you up with someone else. Being able to take a ‘no’ gracefully gets you a gold star of social credit.

It’s easier to start out with experienced subjects or another hypnotist. They’ll likely be happy to help you get started and give you feedback. Making a practice buddy is a lot of fun in and of itself. That said - you will learn and grow the most by working with newer subjects.

If you do end up working with someone new, and you fail to elicit a response, do not blame the subject or tell them they can’t be hypnotized. This is just as foolish as the subject saying you can’t hypnotize anyone. If you have bad luck, it’s more likely their environment is less than ideal, you were unable to coach them through the experience, they were expected something different, or they were just having an off day. They know you’re new to this. Take the bullet, dust off your ego, see what you can learn by asking about their experience and if need be suggest they will likely have better luck with someone else. They will be fine.

Low Responders

While academia will refer to ‘lows’ in trials, there’s significant evidence to suggest that they often just need to be coached through their experience. Even if we work in the framework of the worst case where hypnotic response is genetic, we can work with them to maximize the response they have. If you find yourself with someone in this situation, and you want to dig deeper, you can read Graham Old’s Hypnosis with the Hard to Hypnotize, as well as go through my Rant on Working with Low Responders. The rant is due for a rewrite as a full guide, but it’ll do in a pinch.

Negotiating to Negotiate

We can apply some kink courtesy and make things a bit more comfortable on ourselves, as well as the person we’re asking. Negotiating to negotiate is a life hack that’ll open many doors. As I mentioned earlier, this is a nice place to not be an asshole show that you can gracefully accept a soft rejection.

If X, then Y, because Z, where X is a condition, Y is a proposition, and Z is an explanation.  An example of this is: If you are free later, I would love to negotiate a mindfuck scene with you, because I think we could have a lot of fun together.  This gives the person receiving the proposition an easy way to say no.

Algos, Sir Ezra. Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide To Mental Manipulation For BDSM And Sadomasochism (p. 89). House of Algos Inc.. Kindle Edition.

🦈If you're worried about asking around...

What you think you sound like to your subject:

“Oh jeez. I’m new and could really use a hand getting started with this hypno thing. I don’t even know if I can do this.”

What they’re thinking:

“Oh heck yes! This dashing fuzzball is offering to feed me freshly baked cookies right out of the oven for the next 20 minutes straight, and I get to meet a new friend. And all they want in return is feedback? F yeah I’m in!”

An inexperienced subject may be thinking:

“Wow, I can’t wait to feel every single detail of being turned into a ten-foot-tall werewolf and also be forced to pop my baby batter so goddamn hard it shoots a hole in the wall.” If they’re thinking this - y’all need to have a talk about what hypnosis is.

🦈Neurospicy and want social guidelines?

I'm awkward as shit - but if you're in a position where some guidelines would help, here's what I've got... - Only ask once in a single day - more than that is fucking creepy. - Wait until you *organically* run into the person on another day *in a hypnokink friendly setting*, and maybe ask if they've given it any thought, including the soft-out if they're busy. - If they've said no on your second encounter, and haven't tried to arrange a time, they're not interested.

I’m not on the spectrum - but I can explain why I like soft outs…

• Saying no directly can cause immense discomfort. The soft out gives me an option to say no in a clear way for now, and leave an option open. (Or, if it comes up again and I’m not interested, be more direct while saying no in the gentlest manner possible.)