Mindfucking Mindfully

Section 2 Mindfucking in BDSM

FRIES - freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific.

The Types of Mindfuck - “Piphead”

Perceived Power

“I have magical powers.”

Written word has a ton of power behind it. Using it for ‘accountability’ or consent and rules. The symbol itself (your physical notebook) is useful on it’s own as an anchor.

Signing something can also remind us of times when we felt taken advantage of by banks, lawyers, police, or other people wielding power over us.

Algos, Sir Ezra. Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide To Mental Manipulation For BDSM And Sadomasochism (p. 47). House of Algos Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Illusion

Like a shepherds tone or a fake knife.

Once Candy was placed back on the floor in her chair, Midori pulled out her knife. The knife clicked open and Candy shivered with excitement.  The dungeon monitor interrupted Midori and they proceeded to argue.  Knives, it seemed, were not allowed at the dungeon and the dungeon monitor wasn’t having it.  They proceeded to argue loudly while Candy stayed tied up in her chair.  The dungeon monitor stormed off and Midori turned back to Candy and said “Screw him, I’m doing it anyway.”  The crowd gasped as Candy felt the blade on her skin.

In reality, the argument had been prearranged and the knife had only been real at first so that the sound of the knife unfolding was authentic.  After that, it was just a piece of plastic that felt like an edge.  The gasping crowd were all the same people Midori had recruited to carry Candy around.

Algos, Sir Ezra. Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide To Mental Manipulation For BDSM And Sadomasochism (pp. 53-54). House of Algos Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Perspective Change (Reframing)

The difference between “playing a game” and “interviewing” someone.

There are many advantages to this [roleplaying] practice.  Perhaps the D-type is in a bad habit of asking for feedback in the middle of the scene and killing the mood.  To use a previous example, maybe the doctor/patient role-play is specifying that the patient is mute.  Perhaps the D-type has a nasty habit of being too delicate with the s-type and role-playing a prison guard can help them get out of that headspace for the evening.  Perhaps the s-type is not in the habit of serving the D-type and the Queen and servant role-play can be a way to get into a service role without feeling degraded (it is after all a privilege to serve the Queen).

Algos, Sir Ezra. Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide To Mental Manipulation For BDSM And Sadomasochism (p. 49). House of Algos Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Humiliation

Causes extreme embarrassment.

Expectation

Getting consent for something you have no plan on doing, or pulling out toys you have no intention of using.

The most common mindfuck is playing with expectation. A common tool is a fictional infraction - “I know what you did and I’m disappointed. Confess, or the punishment will be much worse.”

In the following example, the dom got consent to give their sub two substances, Sodium thiopental and ‘Something to make the truth serum work faster’ - Vitamin B3. Of course, Sodium Thiopental was never given to the subject, but instead two safe doses of Vitamin B3, using the sleight of mouth to infer they had taken two substances.

Instead, the bottom was only given two pills of niacin (from different manufacturers, so they looked different).  Niacin, or Vitamin B3, is an essential vitamin, available off-the-shelf in the vitamins/supplements section of almost any health food store or pharmacy.  Large amounts of Niacin (1000 Mg or greater) should never be taken without consulting a doctor, as overdoses of this vitamin can lead to serious complications including liver damage. However, in recommended over-the-counter dosages (one or two 100-300 mg pills), the vitamin’s side effects may include the very sensations of heating, flushing, dizziness, and itching that the interrogator suggested would be caused by the “truth serum.”

Algos, Sir Ezra. Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide To Mental Manipulation For BDSM And Sadomasochism (p. 50). House of Algos Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Asymmetric Information

“I know what you did.” Or - taking information about their preferences without reciprocating your own.

Degrading or Ennobling

Ennobling being treating them like royalty, or degrading them to give them a demeaning task.

Section 4 Safety and Ethics

It’s critical that the top can safeword, and encouraged to do so, just as the bottom.

Tops are obligated to observe the temporal nature of their role. EG - you must cleanly end the scene and your Perceived Power unless you’ve negotiated something before hand.

If you want to explore consensual non-consent because it is a fantasy of yours, it is one thing, but it is an entirely different thing if you want to explore consensual non-consent to process your rape trauma.  Both are valid but engaging in the latter without informing your partner is dishonest and unethical.

Algos, Sir Ezra. Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide To Mental Manipulation For BDSM And Sadomasochism (p. 85). House of Algos Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Negotiating Trauma Informed Play

• What happened the last time you were traumatized?

• What kind of care was required for you to feel safe after you were last traumatized?

• What is the plan if one of us becomes traumatized?

• Is it an automatic end of scene?

• Do you want to do a check in at that point?

• Do you want to push through it?

• What if I am not able or suitable to care for you when you are feeling traumatized?

• Is there a friend we can call?

• Do you have a therapist/psychiatrist that we can get in touch with if we need to?

  Algos, Sir Ezra. Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide To Mental Manipulation For BDSM And Sadomasochism (p. 74). House of Algos Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Section 5 Doing the Thing

Takeaways:

• Ask if someone is interested in negotiating, not playing - it removes the expectation to play before negotiation.
• If you’d like, ask questions in the format of “If X, then y? Because Z,” giving someone a soft out. For instance, “If you have time tonight, would you like to have some fun with your pishock? I really do love watching you squirm.”
• Sometimes, it’s all right to give someone a taste-test during negotiation!
• To keep a surprise/mindfuck concealed, two techniques are spamming and long-term planning - both reasonably self-explanatory.
• Regardless of your consent, check in the day-of. Your partner could’ve had a bad day or have any other reason (medical, emotional) to not go along with your plans.
• As a dom, you’re responsible for unfucking the mind after a session - this includes cleanly setting your D/s relationship to an appropriate peer level after the interaction, unless previously negotiated otherwise.
• You can use the technique of epiloguing, de-rolling, and debriefing for cleaning up after more intense scenes
  • Epiloguing - reveal the secrets, explain the content of the mindfuck and wrap it up
  • De-rolling - discard character aspects
  • De-briefing - an opportunity to talk and discharge emotion
• It’s OK to set up an aftercare proxy - someone else to provide aftercare ahead of time