01 - Duties and Responsibilities

I mulled over the title of this document for a few days - wondering if the title as too harsh or demanding. But really - these are things you are responsible for. Not for anyone else’s sake - but for your own wellbeing and safety.

On Responsibility

The concept of ‘being responsible’ is often twisted into a blame game. “You should have done X, why didn’t you Y, you need to do Z.” None of these are particularly supportive or helpful statements. I want to highlight responsibility to encourage you to be proactive in taking care of yourself.

Let’s say you get a flat on the side of the road, and for the sake of argument there’s only two possible causes:

• You forgot to check the tread and tire pressure.
• There was a manufacturing defect.

These problems are not mutually exclusive - you could’ve been a bit lax on checking the pressure at the same time that your tire manufacturer issued a casual “oh, my bad” regarding defects.

No reasonable person should disregard your plight. These would all be great options:

• Get your car going again.
  • Get your spare on.
  • Call for a discounted tow from your insurance company.
  • Call your bro with a big truck and ask them for a solid.
• Warn people that Firestone tires suck.

In a hypnokink context - this means trusting your instincts, keeping a support network around, and reaching out for help when you need it. “This wouldn’t have happened if you just checked your tread and pressure” might be logically correct, but it sure as hell doesn’t help you with your flat and shifts blame away from the criminally negligent tire manufacturer.

Please take care of yourself and reach out. Your friends and community are there to help you get back on the road when something happens, the cause is irrelevant.

Safety

With that in mind - here’s the big ones.

• You are always responsible for your own mind.
• You are responsible for exercising your own agency.
• You are responsible for avoiding self-destructive behavior, and not engaging in malicious compliance for attention.
• You are responsible for keeping the community around you safe and informed.

This doesn’t mean that a shitty hypnotist can do whatever they’d like to you. But this does mean that when things go sour, or if you find yourself in an abusive situation, it’s on you to do exercise your agency to stop it from becoming worse.

In a situation where all parties mean well - let’s say you’re thalassophobic, and they started giving you an underwater deepener. It’s on you to:

• Signal and come back up.
• Use a safeword.
• Communicate and put a pause on things.

This can even just look like a very tired “hey, hang on - I’m afraid of water.” And your hypnotist will either smoothly shift gears, or start apologizing profusely and check in breaking character.

If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of being addicted to your hypnotist - it’s up to you to stop. You’re not helpless - and this is a good thing. You’re also responsible for avoiding putting yourself in a situation you cannot get out of - it’s a very uncomfortable ride. This is less about responsibility and more about damage control.

If you suspect abuse or manipulation - report it to a community admin. They can help talk you through the situation, get you some support, and they likely keep notes and tabs on both hypnotists and subjects to watch for harmful patterns.

Communication

Please communicate your mood (or if you’ve had a rough day) before going in to a session. Sweeping this under the rug is a great way to end up trauma-dumping 5 minutes later - it’s not helpful for anyone, you’re reading my page so you’re almost certainly not working with a therapist, and while most hypnotists are incredibly supportive they do have their limits, especially when they feel they’ve been taken advantage of to do someone else’s emotional labor.

Your hypnotist is not a mind reader. While some of us can do sick skateboard tricks like cold reading to hit the vibe, if you don’t know what you want, we don’t know what you want. You can say you’re not sure and ask for a few options. Simply wanting to hear someone’s comforting voice in your head for a while is valid. If you ask - you’ll actually get something you want instead of you both trying to figure out how to carry the conversation.

Please give a heads up if your schedule changes or you’ll be interrupted. Your toilet broke, you already tried a Cerbone Butterfly induction on the plumber when they came in, and awkwardly found out they wouldn’t be great company in the background during your session. What’s not cool is positioning yourself as the victim, waiting until the last minute to vent to your hypnotist about your situation, and turning them into a punching bag for your frustrations. Just reschedule!

Environment and Biology

Make sure that:

• Your phone notifications are easy to turn off.
• You won’t be asked to do anything for a while.
• You can have some privacy for a bit.
• You’ve used the restroom.
• You’ve taken your meds.
• Your door is closed.

If you don’t have privacy - that’s a tough pickle! Let your hypnotist know and they’ll see what they can do. It’s very frustrating when someone’s pet interrupts a session, or we can see roommates just walking right through your space.

Recap

A few reminders:

• Ask for help or a head-check when you feel like it. It’s a strength, not a weakness. You should never feel like you can’t do this.
• Communicate your mental state before a session.
• Communicate schedule changes or environmental limitations.
• Take care of your mind and body as well as you can. If you have special circumstances that need to be taken into consideration, let your hypnotist know.
• Stay engaged with your community - whether that’s a friend group or a larger hypnokink server. Your friends can help you avoid entering an abusive relationship, and your community can help provide safety in numbers.
• It’s healthier to be supported by friends rather than someone brainwashing you.